I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
