A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
