guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
