dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
