I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
