North Korea, Best Korea!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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