I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
