C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
