She is in my trunk
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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