I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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