Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
