I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
