Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
