morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm like, not good at living.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
