Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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