i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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