I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
