the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
