You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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