does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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