someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
try to milk me bitch
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
