At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
