Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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