you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
my poor anus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
