you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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