Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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