i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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