YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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