Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm bleeding and have questions
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
