In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
