I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
