i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
