this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
