the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
