Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize