Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We talked him into tasing himself.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
