I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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