literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
