I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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