just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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