dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
