If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
