Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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