I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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