Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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