i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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