your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
