And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
