At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
