my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize