it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
