my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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