my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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