Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
