So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
