Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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