he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
