He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
