so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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