Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
