I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
