why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's official drugs can't kill me
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
